This site is my only connection to society. I have no other accessible means, I'm not independent enough to be able to go outside on my own, due to the fact that I don't know the area around me, because I only go outside usually once every 2 months or something. I'd probably get lost if I'm not accompanied by family, and I'm afraid of running into my former classmates or being looked at by other people in general. If I ever do go outside, I will stay vigilant and scan my surroundings for anyone I recognise from back in high school to ensure peace of mind. I want nothing to do with anyone I used to go to school with; every one of them is trouble. Whenever I do go outside and see someone about 14-17 years old, I feel very uncomfortable, and these people are everywhere. goddamn nuisances.
Going outside feels like a painful chore, and I'm not even trustworthy enough to go outside on my own. I could take a short walk, but even then, with all of these factors, it would be very uncomfortable, bordering on distressing.
I also have no friends currently.
So I spend my time on here scoring interactions through the BBS or blog posts instead.
Now that school had ended, I find myself with a disgusting amount of free time to piss away doing chronically online shit for 10 hours a day.
I had remained unsatisfied with my life for the past 5 years. There was one feeling that stuck around for many years, and that was the feeling of exclusion.
I live my life entirely inside my room, and seeing thousands of people actually living a life worth living, however, I sit there and observe them alone, sitting inside my own room with my meager amount of options, extremely bored, and doing whatever I can to entertain myself. That makes me feel very envious.
I've been staring at screens indoors all day long by myself since I was about 7 years old, and not much has changed. I seriously think I still have the same level of independence as then, so life was bound to get boring eventually.
goncalves2341
You may not like what I'm going to say, but you should go outside more often than ever. Rotting your mind away at a screen is not healthy, but rather it will consume you to the point that you become dependent of it. And I don't mean this in a ill-will manner, but of concern. It's not healthy.
Even if you don't know your area, it wouldn't hurt if you explored your surroundings, even if you don't know where you are or where you are going, you can pop up Google Maps and mark your home as a interest point. So whenever you have so much time at your disposal and have this need to leave the house, the advice I provided is your getaway.
I respect you interact with Newgrounds and it's community, I even do it myself, but this shouldn't be your way of life, the internet is not someone's life. You may not know anybody, and I don't know you as a person, but I do know that there are people that are worried about you and want the best for you. Even a stranger like myself wouldn't like to see somebody in your position, so it pains me as well.
With that being said, if you have the time right now, take a break and go outside, respectfully. There is nothing to be afraid of, so don't let fear consume you.